Monjopgutkim is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, uncaring hummingbird.

Monjopgutkim created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Monjopgutkim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Monjopgutkim, he will turn you into a rat.

Monjopgutkim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Monjopgutkim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange snakes for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Monjopgutkim's name in vain.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Retreat if eight eagles approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.