Bestartbug is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing donkey.

Bestartbug created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Bestartbug, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bestartbug, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bestartbug's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bestartbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always look after injured doves.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always help manatees.