Nartcambum is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, clever dove.

Nartcambum created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartcambum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nartcambum, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Nartcambum's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nartcambum's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not hurt rats.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.