Renlakvag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, fussy squirrel.

Renlakvag created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Renlakvag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Renlakvag, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Renlakvag's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Renlakvag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Renlakvag.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never jump in holy places.