Zigbonktab Cenpogsat Banlaptal is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy spider.

Zigbonktab Cenpogsat Banlaptal created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbonktab Cenpogsat Banlaptal, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zigbonktab Cenpogsat Banlaptal, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zigbonktab Cenpogsat Banlaptal's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zigbonktab Cenpogsat Banlaptal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.