Cumflamvag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful otter.

Cumflamvag created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumflamvag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cumflamvag, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cumflamvag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cumflamvag's Holy Commandments

1. Cumflamvag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Hide if eight capybaras approach from the east.

3. Cumflamvag loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.