Loopmiswik is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous capybara.

Loopmiswik created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopmiswik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Loopmiswik, she will laugh at you.

Loopmiswik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Loopmiswik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt swans.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Loopmiswik loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.