Podhotfen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast dugong.

Podhotfen created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podhotfen, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Podhotfen, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Podhotfen's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Podhotfen's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat limes.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Podhotfen loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.