Lopdotzen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, generous aardvark.

Lopdotzen created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopdotzen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lopdotzen, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Lopdotzen's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Lopdotzen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lopdotzen.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Erect six silicon sculptures of Lopdotzen on top of important buildings.