Sinarncam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sinarncam created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinarncam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sinarncam, he will turn you into a rock.

Sinarncam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sinarncam's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Always obey Sinarncam's priests.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Hide from mauve gulls for they are unholy.