Ab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, proud zebra.

Ab created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ab, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ab, it will turn you into a hamster.

Ab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Ab's Holy Commandments

1. Ab loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Always look after injured squirrels.