Cepwotcad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, intelligent snail.

Cepwotcad created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepwotcad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cepwotcad, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cepwotcad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cepwotcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Cepwotcad on top of all buildings.