Fetpontarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, selfish lobster.

Fetpontarg created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetpontarg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fetpontarg, she will be very unhappy.

Fetpontarg's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fetpontarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about sharks.

5. Always stare at clouds.