Mumpidnan Gonwikwab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful fly.

Mumpidnan Gonwikwab created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumpidnan Gonwikwab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mumpidnan Gonwikwab, it will torture you forever.

Mumpidnan Gonwikwab's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Mumpidnan Gonwikwab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tortoises.

2. Hide from mauve snakes for they are unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

5. Never write about gravity.