Wegyarphas is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, duplicitous dragon.

Wegyarphas created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wegyarphas, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wegyarphas, he will torture you forever.

Wegyarphas' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Wegyarphas' Holy Commandments

1. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Worship no other gods but Wegyarphas.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never go into violet rooms.