Jopflispod is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, almighty scorpion.

Jopflispod created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopflispod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jopflispod, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jopflispod's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Jopflispod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must love Jopflispod.

3. Worship no other gods but Jopflispod.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Always help sick squirrels.