Capbephabnibsom is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, kind bear.

Capbephabnibsom created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Capbephabnibsom, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Capbephabnibsom, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Capbephabnibsom's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Capbephabnibsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.