Larnyogsin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, uncaring gorilla.

Larnyogsin created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnyogsin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larnyogsin, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Larnyogsin's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Larnyogsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Retreat if six horses approach from the north.