Tipfosscat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unthinking aardvark.

Tipfosscat created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipfosscat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tipfosscat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tipfosscat's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tipfosscat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of squirrels.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never paint your arms white.

4. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.