Artbogjen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish gnu.

Artbogjen created Asia four years ago.

If you believe in Artbogjen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Artbogjen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Artbogjen's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Artbogjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Erect five silicon sculptures of Artbogjen on top of important buildings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Artbogjen.