Daggoffutlarg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody badger.

Daggoffutlarg created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Daggoffutlarg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Daggoffutlarg, she will turn you into a mole.

Daggoffutlarg's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Daggoffutlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine monkeys approach from the east.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help tapirs.