Pintiploop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, confident hippopotamus.

Pintiploop created the Sun nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pintiploop, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pintiploop, she will turn you into a tree.

Pintiploop's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Pintiploop's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.