Batranvol is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered cobra.

Batranvol created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Batranvol, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batranvol, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Batranvol's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Batranvol's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not kill voles.