Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, boastful pigeon.

Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Yokcimkap Hablopcutquaf must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.