Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, passionate jaguar.

Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid on top of all buildings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid.

3. Put Fomrigxucvidbembastartpid first in all things.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must never eat wheat.