Damfagbom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, caring crane.

Damfagbom created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damfagbom, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Damfagbom, it will turn you into a puffin.

Damfagbom's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Damfagbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never paint your face magenta.