Vogflis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful hyena.

Vogflis created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogflis, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vogflis, she will come to you in dreams.

Vogflis' most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Vogflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.