Vonkbarntonk is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable wyvern.

Vonkbarntonk created the Sol system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbarntonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vonkbarntonk, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vonkbarntonk's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Vonkbarntonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always take life seriously.