Loopmilgab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, merciless dryad.

Loopmilgab created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Loopmilgab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Loopmilgab, it will turn you into a plant.

Loopmilgab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Loopmilgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not kill shrews.