Fetlipquam is a god.
He takes the form of a chunky, grumpy
wren.
Fetlipquam created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.
If you believe in
Fetlipquam, he will visit you to thank you.
If you do not believe in
Fetlipquam, he will turn you into a small brown duck.
Fetlipquam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.
Fetlipquam's Holy Commandments1. Never play with disobedient children.
2. Never jump in the presence of porpoises.
3. Always stare at clouds.
4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
5. Worship no other gods but Fetlipquam.