Cidpakkab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, slow frog.

Cidpakkab created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidpakkab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cidpakkab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cidpakkab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cidpakkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.