Budnakgep Gamxem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered otter.

Budnakgep Gamxem created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Budnakgep Gamxem, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Budnakgep Gamxem, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Budnakgep Gamxem's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Budnakgep Gamxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Budnakgep Gamxem on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not take Budnakgep Gamxem's name in vain.

5. Never wear mauve skirts.