Canmonrutzog is a god.

She takes the form of a small, conceited goose.

Canmonrutzog created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Canmonrutzog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Canmonrutzog, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Canmonrutzog's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Canmonrutzog's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tapirs.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Canmonrutzog.

5. Never laugh near eagles.