Labartpitbell is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless cobra.

Labartpitbell created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labartpitbell, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Labartpitbell, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Labartpitbell's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Labartpitbell's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Run away from white swans, for they are unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not jump in public.