Vagwegril Waphotduss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome fish.

Vagwegril Waphotduss created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagwegril Waphotduss, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vagwegril Waphotduss, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vagwegril Waphotduss' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vagwegril Waphotduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Vagwegril Waphotduss on top of all buildings.