Vabkikcab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless seal.

Vabkikcab created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabkikcab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vabkikcab, she will turn you into a slug.

Vabkikcab's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vabkikcab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink alcohol.