Vaglabfat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented bird.

Vaglabfat created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vaglabfat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vaglabfat, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vaglabfat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vaglabfat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three frogs approach from the north.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Never paint your back yellow.

5. Never think ill of sick goats.