Flabgenrip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, amazing squid.

Flabgenrip created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Flabgenrip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flabgenrip, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flabgenrip's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flabgenrip's Holy Commandments

1. Put Flabgenrip first in all things.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from brown grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Flabgenrip loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.