Gubyok is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, boastful hippopotamus.

Gubyok created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubyok, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gubyok, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gubyok's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gubyok's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gubyok first in all things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not kill turtles.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.