Hivgunbug is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful tapir.

Hivgunbug created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivgunbug, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hivgunbug, it will be mildly annoyed.

Hivgunbug's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hivgunbug's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Never paint your arms purple.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.