Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, capable slug.

Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak, he will turn you into a tree.

Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four badgers approach from the east.

2. Never eat lemons.

3. Do not take Farnbimfarncap Yamlaghiv Nabtalpak's name in vain.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.