Sitsomhat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, strong scorpion.

Sitsomhat created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitsomhat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sitsomhat, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sitsomhat's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sitsomhat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Feed all hungry ants.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Sitsomhat on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.