Baf is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, selfish scorpion.

Baf created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Baf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Baf, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Baf's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Baf's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Baf.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear fawn trousers.

5. Do not sit in public.