Bagnanben is a god.

He takes the form of a large, competent jaguar.

Bagnanben created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagnanben, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagnanben, he will refuse to believe in you.

Bagnanben's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bagnanben's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

4. Never bounce near nematodes.

5. Never think about stars.