Bassfigmig is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate goose.

Bassfigmig created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassfigmig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bassfigmig, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bassfigmig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bassfigmig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about cell theory.