Flagkimfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, humane wyrm.

Flagkimfoss created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagkimfoss, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flagkimfoss, she will turn you into a plant.

Flagkimfoss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flagkimfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never think ill of sick voles.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Fast once a month.