Flampontaf is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, happy raccoon.

Flampontaf created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flampontaf, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flampontaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flampontaf's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Flampontaf's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight eagles approach from the west.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Run away if nine frogs approach from the south.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.