Cebnartail is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, contented jellyfish.

Cebnartail created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebnartail, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cebnartail, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cebnartail's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cebnartail's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Cebnartail must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never wear blue kilts.