Bassnurtsterstafdubstigpitbest is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, able octopus.

Bassnurtsterstafdubstigpitbest created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassnurtsterstafdubstigpitbest, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bassnurtsterstafdubstigpitbest, he will turn you into a mole.

Bassnurtsterstafdubstigpitbest's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bassnurtsterstafdubstigpitbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Run away if five dolphins approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Respect your elders.