Govfitgil is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, narcissistic jaguar.

Govfitgil created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Govfitgil, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Govfitgil, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Govfitgil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Govfitgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed melons to shrews while wearing green dresses.

2. Hide if eight eagles approach from the south.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Worship no other gods but Govfitgil.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.